Michelle Obama is opening up about her experience raising daughters Malia and Sasha whom she shares with husband former President Barack Obama while the family were living in the White House.
During her appearance on Melinda French Gates’ podcast “Moments That Make Us,” in an episode published on Wednesday, the former first lady discussed her philosophy in her parenting journey.
President Barack Obama, First Lady Michelle Obama and daughters Malia and Sasha walk to board Air Force One at Cape Cod Air Force Station in Massachusetts on Aug. 21, 2016 .
Nicholas Kamm/AFP via Getty Images, FILE
“I never felt my job was to create mini-mes, or create people who were going to live out some brokenness in me or fill some hole or to be my friend,” she explained. “As my girls joke, I always said — my favorite line was, ‘I’m not one of your little friends.’…and I think it makes parenting very easy…I just want you to respect yourself and know what works. We don’t have to be friends, and through those boundaries, we are such good friends, but there were some lines drawn.”
She continued, “So I felt my job was raising people and when you’re raising people rather than babies you make different decision. I had to raise them to be stand-up young people on their own, especially as the daughters of a former president. But people are quick to cut a kid off if you don’t show up right and you’ve got a name behind you. So they have to come correct.”
Sasha and Malia Obama were just 7 and 10 years old, respectively, when their family entered the White House.
In the conversation with French Gates, Michelle Obama said she also acknowledged as public figures that her daughters “are watched.”
“They had to learn how to balance the unwanted attention, but do it politely,” she said. “To build their own lives in the spotlight and not be eaten up by it. Well those girls had to be smart and confident and independent straight away even when they were living in a house with butlers and maids and florists. But I was raising them thinking, ‘You’re not going to live here, and with me, forever. So I’ve got to hand you your life soon and let you manage it.’ “
Michelle Obama leaves with daughters Malia Obama (L) and Sasha Obama (C) on June 21, 2015 in Venice.
Awakening/Getty Images, FILE
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“So that was the intentionality of it and it had to do a lot with who they were but I think no matter who we were that’d have been my approach because I do think that the sooner young people learn to own their lives, the better off they’re able to manage what’s to come,” she added.
Sasha, who is now 23 years old, graduated from University of Southern California last year in May. Malia, 26, is currently working in the film industry and made her red carpet debut at 2024 Sundance Film Festival earlier this year for her short film, “The Heart.”
Raising children in the White House is a unique experience that only a select few have had the privilege of going through. Former First Lady Michelle Obama has spoken openly about her experiences raising her two daughters, Malia and Sasha, in the most famous residence in the United States. Her insights provide valuable lessons for parents everywhere, regardless of their political affiliations.
One of the key lessons that Michelle Obama has shared is the importance of maintaining a sense of normalcy for her daughters despite their extraordinary circumstances. She made sure that Malia and Sasha had a routine that included chores, homework, and family meals, just like any other family. This helped them stay grounded and connected to their values and beliefs.
Another important aspect of raising daughters in the White House that Michelle Obama has emphasized is the need for open communication. She encouraged her daughters to express their thoughts and feelings, even if they disagreed with her or Barack Obama. This helped them develop their own voices and opinions, which is crucial for young women growing up in the public eye.
Michelle Obama also stressed the importance of teaching her daughters to be resilient in the face of adversity. Being in the spotlight meant that Malia and Sasha faced criticism and scrutiny from the media and the public. Michelle taught them to stay true to themselves and not let others define who they are.
Additionally, Michelle Obama prioritized education for her daughters, making sure they had access to the best schools and opportunities. She believed that education was the key to success and independence for young women, and she instilled this value in Malia and Sasha.
Overall, Michelle Obama’s insights on raising daughters in the White House offer valuable lessons for all parents. By prioritizing normalcy, open communication, resilience, and education, she was able to raise two strong, confident young women who are now making their own mark on the world. Her experiences serve as a reminder that no matter where you are raising your children, the principles of love, support, and guidance remain the same.
